What makes up a healthy relationship? Is it chocolates and flowers? Endless hours of watching the other person play video games? Putting up with insults from his/her friends?
“The right person will be attracted to you because of who you are, not what you have to offer. Just continuing to be yourself will be all you need to do. That’s what healthy relationships are meant to be.” Debra Fileta
A healthy relationship will bring happiness not misery into your life.
So what makes up a healthy relationship?
- Being just who you are. Not changing or holding back who you are for him/her, their friends, or their family. You have to be happy with yourself.
- Respect, trust, honesty, freedom, boundaries and communication are key elements of a healthy relationship. It is listening to that voice inside of you. Really hearing what it says. And paying attention to how you are feeling when you are together. It’s being comfortable in this time together even after the newness has worn off.
There are many aspects of a healthy relationship, but these are the key takeaway points to building a lasting bond with someone.
Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship:
- The relationship becomes too intense too quickly and starts to become suffocating. Be cautious if the other person is constantly texting, calling you or showing up frequently unexpectedly.
- They try to isolate you from your support system – breaking up or limiting communications with family members or close friends.
- Demonstrate behaviors of extreme jealousy – be on the lookout for threatening, edgy or angry behavior – wanting to know where you are or what you are doing all of the time.
- Say things that belittle you or make jokes about you at your expense.
- The relationship is hot and cold. One minute they are saying hateful things the next they are apologizing and want to make up.
If you are experiencing any of these behaviors, just walk away and don’t look back. You are worth having someone who respects and appreciates you. And it isn’t someone who exhibits these warnings.
Take a Hike:
Real relationships take work. They require respect, trust, honesty, appreciation and communication. A healthy relationship will never harm you in any way, physically or emotionally. Make sure you like yourself and know what makes you happy. You can’t depend on someone else to make you happy. It comes from within.
A recommended book is “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. This book talks about the different ways we receive and give love and we are each unique in this giving and receiving language.
For some heart filled Valentine hints see PS I Love You.