Do you find yourself angry a lot? Do people cringe when they see you get upset or avoid you like the plague? Does your anger seem to be more frequent with some people and some situations? Choose healthy ways to respond to anger. It’s time to control your anger instead of it controlling you.
Can you put your finger on what seems to trigger your anger? Is it something that is happening? A car pulling out in front of you can cause a few 4 letter words to spew out but if you find yourself raging and tailing the car than it’s time to make some changes. No good thing can come from a road rage incident.
Is it someone who can get your temper from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds? What are they doing to create the feeling of anger in you? How much of what they are saying really matters? And if they are trying to make you mad then what kind of friend or person are they?
The next time you start to feel your anger come on:
- Stop and walk away. Recall what started the feeling.
- Breath deep and exhale quickly – blow out that negative energy. Maybe even do a few of these and then return to comfortable regular breathes.
Then try this… it works amazingly:
- After the incident, reflect for a moment and ask yourself – What triggered the anger? Who was involved? How did I react? Notice where in your body you feel the experience. This is the place where your ‘big red’ button is being pushed.
- Now, know that you control your reactions. So, take some imaginary wire cutters and cut the wires behind your red button.
- Re-live the experience briefly in your mind and notice what happens when the button gets pushed this time. Is the impact less? Hopefully yes, but if not, continue this exercise a few more times and then let it go.
Riding the anger emotion through will bring a sense of relief. And over time you will feel less and less anger. #rewiringyourbrain
Remember, anger isn’t good for anyone. It never solves anything. Acting out with angry words or actions can just leave you feeling uptight and annoyed. Things said in anger often leaves scars on the other person and you, sometimes lasting for years.
Take a Hike:
Much of dealing with anger can only be answered from within yourself. So stop, take a breath and try to think through why you are feeling so angry and just how much it really matters in relation to the situation. Use the exercises above and notice the calm.
One night we were on our way to dinner with friends in their boat. The engine kept dying and the captain of the boat had a big silly grin on his red face. I thought how odd that was until later when his wife told me that was his way of handling his anger. A smile. The exact opposite of how he was feeling.
This might help reduce the anger triggers – Mind Dieting & Listening To Your Inner Self.